Four Easy Steps to Get Happy....er.

Although I am a full-fledged believer in the Law of Attraction, and a wide-eyed quantum physics enthusiast, I've discovered that many folks do not embrace these concepts. However, I'm pleased to report that despite your belief system, there are some very simple things you can do immediately to improve your mood and setpoint for happiness.

Step 1: Quit commercial talk radio cold turkey. Talk radio embraces some of the most consistently negative, "us vs. them" messages on the media "dial". Even if you are in full and complete agreement with the opinions of the hosts or guests, TURN IT OFF and count to 10. The healing will begin almost immediately. Practice this non-listening for a week and you'll be amazed at the results. (NOTE: The same holds true for opinion shows on the television.)

Step 2: For those of you who watch a lot of sports, cut your sports viewing by 50%. As a big sports fan myself, I love to watch a good game. But like anything we enjoy (eating cookies, sitting in hot tubs, playing in traffic...) moderation is key. Countless studies have shown that excessive sports viewing promotes passivity, passive-aggressive behavior, ADD and annoyed significant others. Use the "patch" method, and ease off slowly. Start by only watching games with your home team involved. Next, drop it down to your favorite sports. Once you take the first step, you instantly break the "moth-to-a-flame" hypnosis and begin to move on with living life. If you are a true, die-hard sports fan, use the new-found time to read a book about sports or better yet - join a local team and actually PLAY the game to claim to love, which will yield additional health benefits.

Step 3: Review your music choices. Listen to the lyrics and the messages being delivered to your head, heart and spirit. Music is a very powerful medium which holds tremendous sway over our moods and our overall outlook. Cut back or cut out music that contains consistently dreary, depressing, aggressive themes and words. I'm not suggesting you listen to Pat Boone or even that you need to take the edge out of your ecclectic musical library. I'm merely recommending that you become mindful of the nature of what you pump into your ears over and over each day, and consider emphasizing more positive, uplifing tunes to lift you up and inspire you.

Step 4: Pretend that everything you say or write about someone will be heard or read by them. This will force you to start to think of positive things about everyone around you and will break you of the natural habit of dissing someone behind their back. Really - what's the point? Your subconscious is not going to let you get away with that anyway, so you will just be feeding your own bad feelings anyhow. Speak well of others - start today! As an extension of this, let go of all grudges. They do nothing but taint your own existence. I believe it was Nelson Mandela's quote that went something like this: "Holding a grudge or a bad feeling about someone is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemy." Why poison yourself? Let go and feel better.

I think you'll find that these are simple, cost-free steps that will yield immediate tangible benefits. So what are you waiting for you stupid, fat idiots?!!!*

* You'll learn that I will be unable to avoid adding silly, and sometimes offensive humor into my posts. Apologies in advance.

A Blogger is Born

Today is the first day of the rest of my life…my blogging life that is =). As a liberal arts major, from a long line of English teachers and college professors, I have an innate and insatiable desire to express myself. During my nearly 20 years of working a “real job” in the high tech industry (which has resulted in me owning a high tech consultancy) I have struggled to keep my inner feelings, thoughts, and anxieties tucked away neatly beneath the pressures of a 50+ person payroll, a mortgage, a wife, two kids, a dog, and a 2 hour commute. Those days are over. Although I'm keeping all of the aforementioned facets of my life in tact, this blog will serve as a new forum…my new mouth piece…and another way to avoid conference calls, meetings, and visits to the gym. My apologies in advance for the wacky ramblings that will soon pollute this otherwise tidy and unused cordon of cyberspace….And so here goes...

So THIS is a blog huh? The term “blog”, as I understand it, was created by combining the two words: web and log into a single word. Nifty. I’m no semanticist (I assume semanticist is a word because my spell check didn’t put a squiggly line under it), but I’m fairly certain that the reason we combine words like this is to make them faster to say and easier to roll off the tongue. Contractions such as wouldn’t (would not), couldn’t (could not), and D’Angelo (??) play a big role in our language. Okay, I’m just kidding about the D’Angelo thing. However, it does annoy me when people have names with symbols that fall outside the jurisdiction of the alphabet. Granted, some of the 26 letters we have are kind of lame - like "X" for example. Let's face it, that letter had such low usage they needed to invent Algebra just to give it a valid purpose! But regardless, do these folks really need an apostrophe to their name!? Think about it. I’m no mathemeticianologist, but according to my calculations, based on the number of perfectly good consonants and vowels we have available to us, there are approximately……. eleventeen brazillion potential combinations – not including Smith, Jones and Chin – an excellent law firm by the way (BTW). So with all these options, it seems a bit bombastic and unnecessary to toss an apostrophe into your own name. Perhaps, after decades of ridicule for having the name “Dangelo” (presumably pronounced: Dan-Jello?), someone finally took matters into his own hands to spare future generations the same fate. I suppose I can’t (can not) blame him. And I do soooo love their food…the #9 pockets are awesome, with a bag of chips and a pink lemonade.

Anyway, I’m not complaining…just making an observation. My theory is that there should be a compelling public benefit to combining words before official approval is granted. Isn’t someone watching this stuff? Can there truly be enhanced efficiency in saying “Blog” when no one ever used the term Web Log in the first place? Was anyone ever overheard saying, “Hey Jim, check out my new Web Log man, it’s neato!” Call me old fashioned but I think society needs to experience the inconvenience of saying the two words separately for at least a few decades before lurching straight into this blatant use of wordcombininationistics. (Okay, spell check missed that one too so I need to either reconsider my use of semanticist or call tech support… again! Argh!!!). Do real writers run into these issues or is it just bloggers like myself? WTF? Actually… “WTF” is a textbook example of what I would consider a perfectly legitimate use of word-efficiency. After all, this time-tested exclamation has been exploited for centuries prior to it’s recent induction into the Acronym Hall of Fame (AHF).

I believe it was King George in the late 1700's who said it best.

“I sent you pinheads over there to keep those rabble rousing Yankees under control and you end up creating the foundation for the world’s first super power? What the f@#%??!!!”

Well – that’s all I have in the gun today. For your information (FYI) I plan to expound on more scintillating topics in the future. After all, one of the many reasons I am starting this blog is to openly discuss the larger topics of life that continually nag at me, namely: "why I am here" and "what's it all about?" But today, I will resist the temptation to go stampeeding into that untamed wilderness. The meaning of life will have to wait for another day. And after we beat that topic to death, we can get into the good stuff, like the psychological benefits of Oreos, the mysterious male impulse to play air guitar, and of course, how to solve world peace through Wiffle Ball. Until next time, blog entry #1 is officially in the books.